Mom Moment

I am assuming this will be the first of many of these moments, but I had a major "mom moment" the other day.
I was at a friend's house playing with the babies when I felt a little pea-sized bump underneath Siena's skin. I asked Amanda to feel the bump to make sure I wasn't crazy. Sure enough, she felt it too. I didn't know exactly what it was, so I thought I would just call the pediatrician to see if they could give me the answer. When I called, I guess I must have expected them to just give me an answer over the phone...because when the nurse asked if I would like to take her in to have it looked at, it totally caught me off guard. "Do I need to??" was the only response I could think of. The poor nurse, with a small chuckle in her voice, said, "Well, if you would like to have someone look at it, you probably need to bring Siena in so we can see her!" Duh, right... :)
So, I decided to just go ahead and run up there so they could put any concern to rest. My next thought was Matt. He would probably really like to know that I'm taking his daughter to the doctor. It was during school hours so I texted him, asking him if he could call me. He texted back, "Emergency?" I wasn't sure how to answer that. I didn't want to scare him but at the same time, I wanted to talk to him. So, I texted him back saying, "Well, not really bad, but it would be great if you could call me." So, after some conversation, he got someone to cover his class, and he drove up to the doctor as well. The drive up to the doctor was not my favorite. Your mind can play VERY MEAN tricks on you. But for the most part, I was good. I wasn't too worried at all. I prayed driving up there that I would have peace in my heart and that Siena would be fine.
After waiting for a bit in the waiting room, we met with Dr. Dean, who was really great. She put all concern to rest and said it was probably just lymph nodes that I was just now noticing. She made me feel a lot better when she said she was super conservative and a mom herself, and if she thought there might even be the slightest question, she would check it out with an ultrasound or something. So that was really great to hear. Everything was all good. :)
However, while Dr. Dean was talking to us and I was asking questions to make sure I understood "doctor talk" (ha!), all of a sudden, I looked at Matt and whispered, "Get up, I need to sit down!" He was sitting in a chair next to the doctor table where Siena was laying. I was standing up next to Siena, blocking her barrel rolls that she is such a big fan of. I thought I was going to pass out! I broke out into an immediate sweat. My face was sweating, my stomach was sweating, my legs were sweating. I felt all the color leave my face and I got real light-headed. I was wiping my forehead of the sweat, still trying to play it off and talk to the doctor. He gets up, I sit down, and put my head between my legs. I was certain I was just going to fall right off the chair. Dr. Dean leaves the room, assuring us that is all is great and Siena looks happy and healthy, and I had to sit there for a few minutes to compose myself. Fortunately, I didn't actually pass out. Matt joked, asking if he needed to call the doctor back in to look at me! All was fine after a couple of minutes, and we walked out of the office, thrilled that everything was okay.
Apparently, the doctor visit and the slight concern I had for Siena must have gotten to me. I didn't think I was all the concerned or anything...I guess I was wrong?! I can laugh about it now...how ridiculous! I guess, even subconsciously, you don't realize how much you really love your little one. Boy, do I...
I'm sure that is only the beginning of what life with children will be like. As a parent, you feel responsible for another human's life, and all you want for that little life is happiness and health. Thank God, I have both of those things...