Our Unexpected News

Well, where do we begin...
On Monday, January 5, Matt and I went down to St. Luke's Hospital for our first visit with the new doctor - our parinatalogist. We were so excited to meet the new staff, get plugged into the hospital that we would give birth in, and most of all, check up on the crew! Our appointment was a set 3-hour appointment, with the first stop being the sonogram room. It was the first time I had an ultrasound from the outside, which was interesting in and of itself. The ultrasound technician scanned the screen and started measuring things left and right. Next, she went down to the "flying solo" triplet to have a look at him/her. We could see the sweet fluttering heartbeat going a mile a minute as well as the little body forming so preciously! It was so neat.
Unfortunately, an unexpected surprise caught us very off guard. She went up to the identical twins and started searching and measuring them. She was very quiet as she was studying the screen. After looking at the screen for a while, Matt got a little nervous and asked, "So what about the heartbeats of the other two?" The ultrasound tech simply turned to look at us, shook her head "No" and said, "I'm so sorry." As she said this, the look on her face was one we will never forget. The precious little angels that were so loved no longer had heartbeats. They still measured just the same size as their brother/sister, so their hearts had stopped beating within the last day or so...it just wasn't meant to be. The ultrasound tech left the room for a little while as Matt and I processed what just happened. Tears instantly fell on behalf of those little ones. It was a very strange feeling to feel such a loss for 2 little babies we hadn't had the opportunity to meet yet. We prayed and we cried...there wasn't any room for anything else. My body went numb as my mind tried to reason with my heart. There was no explanation that we could "blame" or "excuse"...it was one of those moments that you know you'll never forget and yet in the midst of it, you can't remember a thing that's going on around you.
The ultrasound tech came back with a doctor to do some more checking and after everything was confirmed, they gave us the choice as to whether or not we wanted to just leave or if we wanted to continue on with the appointment and treat the rest of the pregnancy information as a singleton birth. We decided to stay simply because we wanted to know as much as possible for the third little angel. I'm not sure I remember two things that were said that morning...
We came home and phonecalls needed to be made and visits had to take place in order to share with our family and friends the sad news. It was a tough day and one that I will never forget. It hurts like crazy to know that triplets are no longer in our future. It was something that Matt and I had completely embraced and were so excited about. But Matt and I are now completely focused on our precious gift of a child and that is our new pride and joy.